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Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Irrelevant to My Interests, or: Five Things I Just Don't Give a Shit About -- Here's a list of five things that some people, maybe you, I dunno -- really seem to think are important. And I just don't give a shit.

1. San Diego Comicon -- Maybe twenty years ago when this was about comic books, if I lived within a two-hour drive of San Diego, I would have gone and seen what it was all about. As it stands, though, it seems to be about movies and TV shows with comics as a far distant third-place concern. Not only do I not give a shit, but the mountains of internet coverage it gets every year is infuriating, taking the place of space that could have been devoted to bringing attention to comic books. Look, I think local and regional conventions are great, but San Diego seems to me to be an International boondoggle that does more harm than good for comics as an artform. That said, Tom Spurgeon and Mark Evanier's annual pieces are usually entertaining despite my hatred for disinterest in the subject.

2. CBLDF -- I probably should care about this, but the contrarian in me rebels against being told to eat my Wheaties. Plus, isn't the hot-tub incident guy still involved? Why was he not kicked to the curb? And why on earth would anyone own a business if they didn't have the wherewithal to defend themselves financially and legally if they get into hot water? Are you a professional or not?

3. Fort Thunder -- Was Reggie 12 from FCBD a few years ago by a Fort Thunder guy? If so, that's the exception. Virtually every other exposure I've had to Fort Thunder-style comics has left me wanting to gouge my eyes out with a rusty melonballer. Hey, Rusty Mellonballer, isn't he a Fort Thunder alumnus? Seriously, much is made of the importance of Fort Thunder as a "movement" in comics. What is it moving towards other than visually incoherent nonsense?

4. Embedded Videos -- Maybe it's my Kaspersky security settings, maybe it's my distaste for having my browser slow to a fucking crawl every time some blogger loads up twelve YouTube videos in one post. But nothing -- NOTHING -- sends me away from your website faster than an embedded video. I JUST DON'T CARE. I like to read, so write some words already, and try to make them relevant to my interests.

5. Cover Letters with Review Copies -- Dear Small Press Creator, Publicist or Whatnot: Nothing you can say in a cover letter is ever going to make the comic book you've published one bit better, and the chances are very, very good that you are going to say something stupid that will make me think less of it than I would have by just reading the damn thing. I'm fine with you enclosing a business card or even a short note with the date of publication and contact information, but almost any other information is extraneous at best and damaging to your efforts at worst. Let the work speak for itself.



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