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Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Green Memes Make the Best Memes -- Here's a little meme action courtesy of Roger Green.

Level 1
() Smoked a cigarette.
() Smoked a cigar.
() Kissed a member of the same sex.
(x) Drank alcohol.

I obviously have kissed my son, but I don't think that's what it's looking for. I also took a drag off a cigarette once on a bet, but that probably doesn't count anyway, especially since the guy betting me didn't pay up (thanks, Jake!).

Level 2
(x) Are/been in love.
(x) Been dumped.
(x) Shoplifted.
(x) Been fired.
(x) Been in a fist fight.

Wow, colour me experienced. I had no idea! What a rapscallion.

Level 3
() Had a crush on an older person.
(x) Skipped school.
() Slept with a classmate.
(x) Seen someone/something die.

I was present when my beloved cat Spot was euthanized back in the mid-1990s. More recently, I had to help remove an already-dead (and quite frozen) cat from the radio station parking lot last year, and that was actually really awful, but I didn't see it die.

Level 4
() Had/have a crush on one of your friends who is now on Facebook.
() Been to Paris.
() Been to Spain.
(x) Been on a plane.
(x) Thrown up from drinking.

Mine and Roger's answers to this one were identical. Interesting.

Level 5
(x) Eaten sushi.
() Been snowboarding.
() Met someone BECAUSE of Facebook.
() Been in a mosh pit.

Sushi, but not sashimi, which is really what they mean.

Level 6
() Been in an abusive relationship.
(x) Taken pain killers.
(x) Love/loved someone who you can’t have.
(x) Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by.
() Made a snow angel.

I've even laid on my back and watched cloud shapes go by with someone who I later could no longer have, but at the time it was nice.

Level 7
() Had a tea party.
() Flown a kite.
() Built a sand castle.
() Gone mudding (offroading).
() Played dress up.

There's an unusual mix of things I have never done.

Level 8
() Jumped into a pile of leaves.
() Gone sledging.
() Cheated while playing a game.
(x) Been lonely.
(x) Fallen asleep at work/school.

I don't know what "sledging" is, maybe sledding? Don't remember ever doing that, but my parents might have done it with me when I was very, very young in upstate New York in the late '60s. I have fallen asleep exactly once while on the air, the song I was playing was Lisa Stansfield's "All Around the World." I remember starting the record, then waking up to the sound of the runout groove. Raise your hand if you're old enough to know what a runout groove is, or what it sounds like...

Level 9
(x) Watched the sun set.
(x) Felt an earthquake.
() Killed a snake.

I've felt three earthquakes in upstate New York, once on the air in the middle of the night, once at home, and once while browsing a used CD store in Saratoga Springs that no longer exists.

Level 10
() Been tickled.
() Been robbed/vandalized.
() Been cheated on.
(x) Been misunderstood.

Oh, boy, have I ever been misunderstood.

Level 11
(x) Won a contest.
(x) Been suspended from school.
(x) Had detention.
(x) Been in a car/motorcycle accident.

I won a switchblade comb in a department store drawing once. I was suspended from a religious school for reasons having nothing to do with religion. I've been a car accident or two.

Level 12
() Had/have braces.
(x) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night.
() Danced in the moonlight.

A pint of Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia, a long time ago. Love to do it again sometime, but I suspect my doctor would object.

Level 13
(x) Hated the way you look.
(x) Witnessed a crime.
() Pole danced.
() Questioned your heart.
() Been obsessed with post-it-notes.

The older I get, the more comfortable I am with the way I look. Sometime in my 20s or early 30s I had an epiphany about how everyone thinks people are always looking at them, when in fact no one is because they are worried about how they, themselves, look to other people. It's a weird circle, but, fuck it. Make the best of whatever you have. I don't really know what "questioned your heart," means. Maybe I am heartless.

Level 14
() Squished barefoot through the mud.
(x) Been lost.
() Been to the opposite side of the world.
(x) Swam in the ocean.
(x) Felt like you were dying.

I had bronchitis and pneumonia so bad a couple years back that I could barely breathe; I think my lung capacity was down to like 15 percent? Yeah, I thought I was gonna die.

Swam in the ocean all the time when we lived in Florida.

Level 15
(x) Cried yourself to sleep.
() Played cops and robbers.
(X) Recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers.
() Sang karaoke.
(x) Paid for a meal with only coins.

I made a big Spider-Man poster at work one day with markers and poster board. I am sure I have bought a bagel and a donut from Dunkin Donuts using only quarters, just to get rid of them.

Level 16
() Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t.
() Made prank phone calls.
() Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose.
() Kissed in the rain.

Hmm, perhaps my life is not as storied as previously indicated...

Level 17
() Written a letter to Santa Claus.
() Watched the sun set/sun rise with someone you care/cared about.
(x) Blown bubbles.
() Made a bonfire on the beach or anywhere.

I can remember doing that as a kid. I also remember a dirty joke about blowing bubbles that ends with "I'm Bubbles."

Level 18
(x) Crashed a party.
() Have traveled more than 5 days with a car full of people.
() Gone rollerskating/blading.
(x) Had a wish come true.
() Slept with a member of the same sex.

Crashed a swanky going-away party once and dined on free food and drink all evening. That was pretty ballsy, and pretty fun. As to wishes, most of mine have come true at one point or another, so I guess I can't complain.

Level 19
() Worn pearls.
() Jumped off a bridge.
() Screamed "penis" or "vagina".
() Swam with dolphins.

Does screaming "PENIS!" at a dolphin count?

Level 20
() Got your tongue stuck to a pole/freezer/ice cube.
() Kissed a fish.
() Worn the opposite sex’s clothes.
(x) Sat on a roof top.

Then sprained my ankle on the way back down. It was not awesome.

Level 21
(x) Screamed at the top of your lungs.
() Done/attempted a one-handed cartwheel.
(x) Talked on the phone for more than six hours (in one day).
() Recently stayed up for a while talking to someone you care about.

I have children, so of course I have screamed at the top of my lungs. I miss having friendships involving 6-hour calls; I used to have a lot of them. I think the most recently that has happened was a year or two back with Chris Allen, when we talked and laughed literally all night long.

Level 22
() Picked and ate an apple right off the tree.
() Climbed a tree.
() Had/been in a tree house.
() Been scared to watch scary movies alone.

Nothin' doin' here.

Level 23
(x) Believed in ghosts.
() Have had more than thirty pairs of shoes (not necessarily all at once).
() Gone streaking.
(x) Visited jail.

Not sure where I stand on the issue of ghosts, but I tend to think some energy remains after we no longer inhabit spaces we once called home.

I have visited jail, unfortunately at the invitation of the proprietors...

Level 24
() Played chicken.
() Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on.
() Been told you’re hot by a complete stranger.
(x) Broken a bone.
(x) Been easily amused.

Broke my thumb in an accident just before Thanksgiving, 1985. I am almost always easily amused.

Level 25
() Caught a fish then ate it later.
(x) Made a porn video.
() Caught a Butterfly.
(x) Laughed so hard you cried.
() Cried so hard you laughed.

These two answers are not necessarily unrelated, and that is all I am saying about it.

Level 26
() Mooned/flashed someone.
() Had someone moon/flash you.
() Cheated on a test.
(x) Forgotten someone’s name.
() French braided someone’s hair.
() Gone skinny dipping.
() Been kicked out of your house.
() Tried to hurt yourself.

Not as good with remembering names of people I've met before as I would like to be.

Level 27
(x) Rode a roller coaster.
() Went scuba-diving/snorkeling.
(x) Had a cavity.
() Blackmailed someone.
() Been blackmailed.

Rode a roller coaster to impress a girl. Hint: If it makes you almost puke, she won't be impressed.

Level 28
(x) Been used.
(x) Fell going up the stairs.
() Licked a cat.
() Bitten someone.
() Licked someone - not in private places.

As Roger says, "Haven't we all been used at some point?" I could tell you my story about being used that involved a bowl of burned popcorn, Bruce Hornsby, and the TV show Miami Vice, but, you won't care.

Level 29
() Been shot at/or at gunpoint.
() Had sex in the rain.
() Flattened someone’s tires.
(x) Rode your car/truck until the gas light came on.
(x) Got five dollars or less worth of gas.

Does getting shot with a BB gun count? If so, then I have been shot. Ow.


Blogger Roger Green said...

It's a weird one, that meme, but at least it asked me things six other memes haven't. Oh, Lord, please don't let us be misunderstood (cliche, I know, but I'm really feelin' it.)

21 February, 2008 16:49  

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