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Thursday, August 08, 2002

 
Sweatpants -- My wife and I have been together nearly 11 years. You'd think after over a decade of seeing that, in general, I am often right about things, she might place some credence in my opinions when I express them.

Last night after a nice dinner of grilled swiss cheese and portobello mushroom sandwiches on gourmet cracked wheat bread (man, I am still kissing my own ass over what a good idea that was), she told me she had found a "three bedroom place," that she was going to go look at.

"Place?" I asked her if it was a house or an apartment. We definitely need a bigger place, and I've told her that she has carte blanche to look anywhere she wants, because frankly I hate looking for places to live and generally (ah ha!) trust her instincts after a decade together.

After some heming and hawing, it was revealed that the place in question was a trailer. A mobile home. Now, not to be elitist, but I agree with Tom Leykis that living in a trailer is a lifestyle choice, not a financial necessity. Most trailers cost the same or more than a decent apartment when you factor in lot rent and all that, they don't have a frigging foundation, and generally, to my way of thinking, are dangerous and impermanent by nature. Like George Costanza in sweatpants, I believe that moving into a mobile home is a signal to the world: "I give up!".

My wife argued with me a bit, her main points being that my feelings about trailers are irrational and that since this was a "newer model," it could be very nice. A newer model, by the way, that she then informed me was built in 1992. A decade ago.

She and my daughter went to look at the place, my son settled in front of Nicklodeon and I delighted myself with a stack of mini-comics sent to me by my pal Jason Marcy. I'll probably be writing about those in a few days.

An hour or so later my wife called from her cell phone to inform me, short version here, that the trailer was a dump. Well, yeah.

Man, those sandwiches were good.

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